Had to be done...

My son Chase. He rolls his eyes when he thinks you're not looking. He sulks. His voice cracks and he no longer tells me about the girls he likes. I now ask him to open jars for me. I have to put forth effort to win at board games. He is doing math that I no longer remember, and when I want to know what 9 x 6 is, I ask him. And even with all this, I can't see him as anything other than my little boy. The little boy that would do anything to make his mom happy. The one who would hold my hand whenever possible. The one who dragged a gallon of milk into my bedroom at 3 o'clock in the morning because he was thirsty and couldn't pour it himself. This sweet little boy. Every illness, every heartache he's had, I've suffered with him. I've even felt heartaches yet to come that he's completely unaware of. So what do I do when I'm the one that causes his distress?
Last Friday night, Chase was caught sneaking out. UGH! Technically, we caught his friend in the yard that came to meet him so they could go play cards. Nonetheless, they admitted they'd done it once before. Obviously, this isn't something that we could just ignore. After a long lecture-Mom you'd have been proud-I drove Chase's friend home. When I returned, Denver was sitting on the couch eating popcorn. He'd told Chase he was just going to sit back and watch the show that he was sure I was going to put on. I hated to disappoint him, but I knew we needed to discuss things and I was too upset and angry to be doling out punishments. Besides, I remember how it felt to know I was in BIG trouble with a lurking punishment hanging over my head. Fear of the unknown, right? So we let him sweat it for a few days. Chase was already grounded for missing assignements at school and poor grades, so that was out. I've also been taking him to and from school because we can't trust him to be where he's supposed to be, so really what more could we do? And then it came to me. Chase has been begging me for a paintball birthday party. He's turning 13, and I'd told him he could pretty much decide what he wanted to do. But it was too harsh. I knew how much it meant to him. Yet, I couldn't deny that this was what I was supposed to do. I've learned not to argue with promptings, and if I'm going to pray every night for guidance in how to help Chase get through these difficult years, then by golly, I'm going to do what I know to be right, even if it breaks my heart. Chase reacted a lot differently than I expected. I explained to him that by taking him to and from school we were using up a lot of gas and a lot of my time. Not to mention that a paintball party is for responsible people, and he hadn't shown us that he fits into that category at this time. I told him that we'd still have a family birthday party, presents, cake, the whole works, he just wasn't going to get the friend party that he'd wanted. He nodded while a few tears rolled down his face and then silently went to bed. And I broke. I cried. And then I cried some more. And just when I thought it would end-I continued crying. I tried to blame Denver for making me go through with it, but it was my idea in the first place. Truth is, Denver gives me the strength to do what is right, because without Denver, I probably would have caved, knowing that it was wrong. With Denver, however, I am able to break my son's heart and mine as well, because it is what is best for him. My sweet little boy.

Family pictures

Here they are, the family photos as promised. Taken the day after Easter by one of my best friends in the world. Thanks Denise-you did an awesome job with the photos. It wasn't easy since Corbin and Mia were behaving as if they'd been in a cage for 20 years and were just set free, but you worked some magic and got some good shots. Thank you, thank you!

Easter

Easter. I never quite know how to handle it. I don't do well with Christmas either. It's the whole Easter Bunny, Santa Claus thing. Don't get me wrong I love playing Santa, but I have a really hard time lying to my kids. Particularly when I feel like I need to keep my kids focusing on the Savior. So, I try to compromise. Santa brings gifts to help celebrate Jesus' birth and the Easter Bunny wants us to look our best when we celebrate Jesus coming back from death. (Just try and get a 2 or 3 year old to say resurrection-it's a hoot!)

I actually took this picture the night before, just after the Easter bunny left.

And first thing in the morning when they found them. Next year, I will remember to take a picture of Chase when he finds his basket. I also spoke with the Easter Bunny and it's been decided that Chase's basket will be hard to find. Really hard. Now, I'm getting excited for next year.

Okay, I know that Mia is dressed in this picture, but that's because she was so tuckered out from all the fun the day before that I let her sleep in her clothes. If I had remembered that I would be taking pictures in the morning I would have made her change. I like to keep up the pretense that I'm on top of things and my kids are always perfect angels and the house runs like clockwork. And I can pretend, unless there is physical evidence. Sigh, at least she's happy.

And sweet little Karli cakes. I think she liked her first Easter. Yes, she has candy in her basket, and yes I'll let her eat it too. After it's been processed. C'mon, moms need some candy too!

We didn't take any pictures of all of us, or even the kids in their new outfits, but we will. Soon. Until then...

Annual Easter breakfast

It's that time again. Time for our ward's Easter breakfast. I love this tradition. It gets us up and going, and the kids get to do an Easter egg hunt where there's always plenty of eggs and no one gets trampled. Bonus! This year was no exception. As the Elder's Quorum President, Denver had to go early to help cook up some sausage and pancakes. That left me with all four children, and we brought Chase's friend, Hunter, along as well. I thought we were heading out the door with plenty of time to spare and was feeling great. I couldn't believe I'd done it. Five kids loaded into the truck and ready to go and we'd even be on time. I hopped in the front seat and reached for the keys. No keys. "Chase, did you grab the keys?" The look on his face said it all. I don't really remember if I screamed out loud, but I know in my head it was a good one. Then, I sighed and checked the front door just in case. Locked. So I began checking all the windows, while I tried to figure out just what I was going to do. I could always run to the neighbors to use their phone, only who would I call? Denver didn't have the cell phone and I didn't have anyone's number memorized-they're all in the phone. Luckily, our bedroom window was open and I was able to climb through while all the kids sat in the truck and watched. I think the best part was when I got back into the truck, keys in hand, and Chase and his friend were so impressed that I'd made it through the window. I told myself it was because I made it look so easy and not because they thought I was too big to fit-which was the real reason. Even with the keys mishap, we made it on time to the church. That was my Easter miracle, and here are the pictures from the event.



This year I decided to make these little chicks. They were a big hit-thank you Pinterest! I didn't take any pictures of us eating breakfast because things were a little too hectic. Corbin and Mia seem to jump into hyper mode the instant we enter the church. Thankfully, Denver has the greatest counselors in the world, who are not only fantastic men themselves, but they were smart enough to pick some wonderful women as their wives. My kids adore Kim and Alysha. I adore all the help they give me without my even asking for it. Thanks to them, I was able to actually sit down and eat a warm breakfast and completely enjoy myself. I even ate the burned pancakes that my husband and his counselors cooked. None of them will own up to who really cooked the pancakes, but I'm willing to give them another chance any time they want to come and cook me breakfast. After we'd eaten, it was time for the egg hunt...


This is the only picture I got of Corbin hunting for the eggs. He was off so fast I couldn't keep up. So I didn't even try. I did, however, laugh my head off when he re-enacted the entire hunt for Denver later. "I found a green egg here, and a blue one here" as he ran around the lawn pointing.



Poor kids aren't used to sunshine so they had a hard time looking at me with their eyes open.




But it is possible if you take enough pictures and ask them to tell you how many eggs they found.



The kids don't exactly enjoy this part of the Annual Easter breakfast, but I think that they're learning that they don't get their baskets until Mom gets her picture...



Ah, success at last. I look at this and can't believe that these are my babies! Oh, how I love them.

That afternoon, we also decorated eggs. I love taking it all outside and doing it on the lawn because then I'm not concerned with spills.



If you look in the right corner, you can see the window I had to climb through to get the keys.




This year I offered to let Denver sit it out so that he could do homework, but as you can see, coloring eggs is just too much fun, no matter the age.

If you look closely and use some super sleuth skills, I'll bet you can figure out what Corbin's favorite color is.

"My orange egg!"

Chase is still not too cool to hang out and decorate eggs with us. In fact, I think he gets more into it than the little ones. I know I love to see what he'll create every year.

"Yo, here's a green egg. And this is the last picture, dude. Peace out. Oh, and Happy Easter homies!"